Opinion (religion) Abortionists?  The most prolific one is God American Revolution in 1776 disobeyed Christian teachings Attendance is down at my former church Bible discussion by animated characters "Bless you" as a response to a sneeze Cast thy bread upon the waters to make strong drink Catholic schools and churches lose half their people in 15 years Christmas is more than a once-in-a-lifetime experience Church music with guitars is unBiblical Church traffic congestion fades as "nones" approach majority Closed minds refuse to consider other opinions Come no closer!  Put off thy shoes!  Ignore the man behind the curtain! Count your many blessings, name them one by one Creation happened 6,027 years ago Deus ex machina:  the Lord himself comes down from Heaven Disasters are sometimes blamed on unrelated "sinful" activity Divine revenge on Jerusalem (70 AD) and Pompeii (79 AD) Don't faithlessly ask for a second opinion on a religious pronouncement Ebenezer is raised by Samuel after routing Philistines End-of-the-world predictions, from Mayans and others Everything's for a reason, claims the White House's Drollinger Existential evidence: greater for Christ than for Caesar?  I disagree Faith, for a Romney, is the certainty of winning the 2012 election Faith, for a slave, is hope for a better life next time "Freedom of religion" isn't freedom to force others to follow your religion Gay-marriage objectors actually extrapolate their personal concerns Gay marriage threatens belief that all should marry "straight" and make kids Halloween is a school for extortion Heaven welcomes a mass murderer, if he was once saved His eye is on the sparrow, but He doesn't intervene Hurricane's message from God:  Stop gay marriage? Stop global warming? Hypocrisy hides the real reasons I am who I am, said God.  It is what it is, say we. Ingersoll:  "These blessings did not fall from the skies" Intercessory prayer doesn't work; we have proof Jane's Church Jesus' father was a soldier who "came in to" Mary? John 1:1 rewritten:  In the beginning were the laws of physics Joshua may not have exterminated the Canaanites as God commanded Jubilee in Leviticus:  God's idea, or a practical economic measure? "Lie in the fog":  religion, according to Edie Brickell Lord's Prayer mangled for Halloween Love is better than vengeance Luther posted his theses 500 years ago Meaning of "elect" "Merry Christmas"?  As acceptable as "Saturday" or "July" Methodist congregations break away over LGBTQ issues Marriage to only one?  In Scripture, God does not insist on it Mississippi AG won't force Baptist/Pentacostal beliefs upon citizens Mormon bloggers, plus emphasizing the first word or the second Mormons are declining, now only 1% of U.S. adult population Mormons can be humorous, says Ken Jennings My Choice "Medical Clinic" doesn't discuss all options Nativity scene excludes "undesirables" No vacations from church "Oh My God," the hit single from Annette Paul on the road to Damascus might have seen an incoming asteroid Paul refuses to accept Jesus quotes from Q Plan for your life?  Does the Bible really say God has one? Polls prove little, but they can show that not everyone agrees with us Pope retires?  No big deal Prayer: Who's talking? "Preaching to the choir" Religions are sublime, useful, and ridiculous "Remember me," said Jesus, not "reconstitute me" Repent of his sin?  No, Atlanta man murders his temptations Same-sex marriage in Ireland receives God's blessing via rainbows School prayers: Personal vs public Skirts are Scripturally required? A Duggar decides to disobey Slavery died, but not because of Christianity Sodom's sin was not sodomy but selfishness Special, are you?  No, everything happens as an accident Spend more time at your good works Superstitious fans and praying churchgoers imagine they'll influence events Temptation:  Might God lead us into it? Ten jealous Commandments don't fit onto one large-print poster Trump neither gives nor needs forgiveness We Gather Together to Ask the Lord's Blessing "With God on Our Side"; also, "Jesus Christ Superstar" Zombies slip and slide in the winter or on Good Friday Think about it. Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry for ever and ever till the end of time. But he loves you. — George Carlin